Putting ME in all

I had my spring break a couple weeks ago which I spent the majority of the time designing my application to Bruce Mau Design. I put a lot into it. Every breath. I went ahead and sent along a response to an essay he had written in Walrus magazine. This was an assignment for my Advanced Typography course but I ended up strategically treating the project as an asset for my application, which was really only to answer three questions and send along a resume.
I just want to be there so bad. I have continually been reading about Bruce Mau and visiting the studio's website throughout my years in college. I was inspired by his Life Style book when I was formally introduced to his work last year in Graphic Design History class. I ended up writing about him in essay responses for my exam.

I wanted to be there last year but they weren't taking people then. A few months ago when I visited their website, I saw that they were actually looking for people so I was so excited that I knew I had to blow them away with my passion and integrity for being in their studio environment. I just have to be there. I want to see it, share ideas, talk about what they do, meet more designers who think like me. I'm ready for it.


School is crazy. I've learned to deal with the Ringling excessive demand for producing work and I'm okay with it because I'm producing A LOT of work that I think are great indicators of my strengths. So, I'm really happy about that. It's just been non-stop.

I'm enjoying Florida too though. I went down to Miami Beach last weekend by Greyhound bus, which was 5 hours that I spent thinking, sleeping and writing. Miami Beach was gorgeous. Definitely a place to invest in buying a home, even temporarily.

Overall, this experience so far has been truly amazing. I've learned so much about myself. I've fallen in love with writing and poetry. I love typography. I love design. I love where I'm going with design. I want to do more. I want to write books of poems. I want to design them, choose the paper, bind them, feel them, read them, share them and inspire people.

Saul Williams was a huge inspiration. He came and spoke at Ringling. I was moved and taken a back. I felt connected and I felt like I could do so much more with my interest in writing. I can totally combine everything into design and my future.

See it coming.
I wrote three poems on my way to and from Miami, on top of the random stuff I write and refine from time to time on my hard drive.

I have only begun, or better yet, I begin anew with every thought. Sometimes I choose to continue and sometimes I choose not. Same with you.

Illusive Senses

I am in love
with illusive senses

energy as language
mind as surreal
chemistry as emotion
sign as dream

to reach the intangible
gratifying desire
with what is there
and what isn't

for which I create
to smile and cry
from inside out
revealing the hidden

Know. Think.

Know.
How do you know?
How do you know what to think?
Is it better to know or to think?
What if you think you know?
Will you ever know if you think you know?
Do you know how to think?
Who tells you?
Do they know?
How do they know?
Because someone else knows?
How would you know if you don't think?
You should always think that you know and know that you don't know
But you should never say that you know and think that you don't know.
If you think about what you know, you'll know for yourself.
You will know yourself.
Think.

Dao: Spirituality is philosophy

Daoism is the closest that I can come to any religion. Because it's not a religion. It's philosophy. It's a way of thinking. It's a way of conducting yourself by discovering yourself.

I have grown to think this way even before I knew anything about the Dao. Now, after taking a course in Chinese culture and reading more about Daoism I realize how close it is to what I have always been thinking about. I never associated myself with any religion because in my eyes it was too narrow for me. I always viewed religion as something personal, something that brought you and no one else to peace with yourself and your own life. Any perception of faith that completes you, is religion in my eyes. Therefore it is something that needs to be discovered from within by knowing yourself before you distinguish yourself.

I hate the word "religion". I abhor it. The word should have never been created in the first place. "Philosophy" is a better term to use for defining your beliefs. Philosophy involves thinking, developing and understanding through observing, analyzing and clearing your mind of pre-conceived thoughts.

I believe that more people need to do this in order to find themselves to make themselves happy. Once they do that, they will be able to be kind to others and humanity.

Read my notes at Master Chen's speech at East West Center Chinese Natural School of Medicine.

I have never felt so close to something that comprehensively and distinctly defined my beliefs. I always thought it was just my own philosophy, but it is 5000 years old. It's the Dao. Chinese history is fascinating, I am most definitely going to be traveling there in my future.

Randomness of me

What else have I been up to?

Here's a list of what I do on a regular basis in no particular order because sometimes one receives more of my time than the other.

I spend 90% of my time with my Powerbook. If I were to ever lose it, I'd
lose...well not a part of my soul but it's the closest thing to an addiction. At least it's not bad for my health. I use it to communicate and to educate myself.

THINK: I am doing this constantly while I observe and research. I call it learning but planning as well. An example of what I think about is my thesis project for my fourth year which I have been planning in my head since last fall. It's definitely moved up from where it started with an idea to a lot of research, planning and organizing for each essential step. This is the process I go through with everything I do. My thesis project is going to be a turning point in my life therefore it needs to be done RIGHT.
READ BLOGS:I subscribe to them with my RSS Reader program called NetNewsWire. It really breaks Internet down to what you want it to be and you feed your brain information that you've requested to be updated on. I think it's fabulous and keeps me updated on specific sources that I want to be informed by. I think it's a fascinating addition to Internet and it just tells you how great the Internet can become as a tool for intellects. It's very motivating and encouraging to keep updated on IT and what's going on in the WWW.
WRITE: I've been getting back in touch with my love for creative and expressive writing. One writer that I love is David Barringer. He is super cool because I can write him emails and he writes back and I've ordered a collection of his books. His writing attracts pieces of me that fell in love with writing when I was younger. I loved English classes in high school because they forced me to better my vocabulary that I thought was extremely limited by daily language. I wanted to be able to write like a scholar hence I pushed myself to read more. I love poetry too and write when I feel something or something is on my mind. I use writing as an outlet of emotion. I find it more effective than talking to anyone because I don't need to hear a response, I just want to get it out and look back at it later.

Now I feel like design and writing have a niche. They are integrated and the most intellectual and valued designers are self-taught writers. They are able to communicate because they can simplify their thoughts and express them creatively but with purpose and intent. They create impact and inspire thought and I am touched by this because it brings me from my scattered past to a more defined yet endless future. Design, criticism, writing, problem solving skills can increase your versatility and knowledge under any subject matter.

People I admire:
Debbie MillmanI discovered her truly amazing podcasts a year ago and have been using it as a food-for-thought source ever since.

Bruce Mau - I'm aiming to get a summer job or internship, whatever it is, at his studio. He's in Toronto, so am I. He's Canada's leading designer. I am a fan because I see the world and design the same way he does.
That's the only reason I would put effort into applying to work anywhere, ONLY if I REALLY want to be there I'll consider applying. Because if I apply I know I'm going to put my all into it.

John Maeda and his amazing book

I skim a lot of books but I draw quotes from a lot of things.

I love looking through design magazines.
I love philosophy and lately I've found a deep connection with Chinese culture. I am simply amazed by eastern history and fascinated by their culture.

I want to go on a bike tour to China, with my camera.
Now THAT would be something.

There are lots more things I do and I love doing. But for some profound reason I sense that I am in a stage of my life where I see something and want to get there and don't want to disturb myself with my surroundings. I'm not confused by or dependent upon anything to make a future for me. I PLAN my future and I do it MY way, which is dependent on research of OTHER ways. The only networks I need are people who think as much as I do, have a strong mind and who can motivate and instigate further development on my determination. Others I love dearly and value their persona, but I will never be attached or long for attachment to something that exists. I only attach myself to the non-existent that is eternal love within myself for what I want to do. That is the only thing I am attached to, and I will do everything to make myself happy. It keeps me strong because it can never detach and I am reassured by that thought.

sign for "SIGNS"

I've been working on numerous projects the past few weeks. There is one week left before the spring break and I've been spending a lot of time with my projects. They get a lot of my attention. I spoil them with my care. It's not fair to the other ones that need attention, projects that is, not people. I see projects as the best way for me to get to know myself. I see people as influence of thought and emotion.

I recently finished putting together a book for Graphic Design class. It was our first project of the year and we went through three sections begining with typographic systems while reading chapters from Robert Bringhurst's Elements of Typographic Style. Then we drew out concepts from one of the texts that we liked most and explored them typographically. Then finally we chose one concept and executed the passage it as a sequence on eight pages.

This was the text I chose and I spent weeks and weeks absorbed in it.

Language and writing are two different systems of signs;
the only purpose of the latter is to represent the former.
Linguistics is not concerned
with the connection between the written and spoken word–
its sole object is the latter: the spoken word.
But the written word is so closely bound up with the spoken, whose image it is, that it is increasingly arrogating
the main role to itself/
Ultimately the point is reached
where more importance is attached to representation
of the spoken sign than to this sign itself.
It’s like thinking that to know someone,
It is better to look at his photograph than his face.

by Ferdinand de Saussure

This became a personal project. I put myself in it by doing lots of hand writing and exploring it's potential as a spoken word concept. I'll post up the book soon when it's absolutely perfect like I want it to be.